Overcoming Fear of Failure
The Fear of Failure-Fear of failure is common for obvious reasons.
People want success and yet only those who are brave enough to confront this type of fear are the ones able to rise above their fears and achieve whatever goals they have set for themselves. For those who were overcome with this fear, then they are prevented from realizing their potential.
The most destructive element entailed with the fear of failure is one’s inability to take criticism or feedback well. Instead, they tend to magnify the mistakes they have created along the way until it overtakes their mind such that it is difficult to get rid of them.
There are also instances wherein the fear of failure is so immense that people tend to limit themselves to the point of not trying for fear of failing.
Steps to Overcoming This Fear
Why must fear of failure be given attention on, you might ask. Unless you are able to let go of the fear of failure, then you are unable to achieve your desired result.
Oftentimes, fear of failure produces negative thoughts that reduce your actual potential. You think you are incapable of achieving something when it fact you can.
Once you are brave enough to do something about this fear, then you are able to provide yourself more freedom to do what you need to do and succeed at it. Here are some basic methods you can try.
Do Something About the Fear
Fear of failure immobilizes you. You become so wrapped up with the fear that you will eventually fail that you rather not try.
But when you don’t try, you neither fail nor succeed. Therefore, make that decisive action towards conquering your fear.
If you should fail, then you will create awareness of the factors that will contribute towards your success. If you succeed, then you can reward yourself with that.
There are several factors that contribute as to why you fail or succeed at doing something. Whichever it is, you need to look at your behavior towards something and the result achieved.
But the most important step you can take is never to associate your failure with yourself. You can always get back up and try other alternative methods to achieve your goals.
You can try doing things differently as the methods you use could be the reason why you failed in your attempt.
Learning From Failure
This is the best that you can take out from the experience and also one of the more effective ways to get rid of this fear.
Instead of putting all the blame on yourself as to why you failed in your endeavors, take it as a learning experience instead.
This will enable you to prevent failing in the future yet again. Consider the following questions as they can provide the answers in your need to conquer the fear of failure:
• Where did you commit mistakes?
• How could you prevent the mistake from happening?
• Where can I make improvements?
Failures must always be translated into a learning experience. That way, you have more opportunities to learn and do better.
After all, if you have not experienced any type of failure, then you would not have the means towards changing for the better.
In terms of conquering this type of fear, it is important that you learn how to confront and overcome them.
Or else, you could end up repeating the same mistake or worse that your fear of failure could prevent you from following your goals.
Five Effective Steps to Overcoming Fears
Overcoming fears might appear simple in concept, but actual application of these techniques are never easy, especially for the person directly involved.
Depending on the intensity of the fear, some people might be able to confront it themselves while others require the help of others. Nonetheless, it is important that you do something about it.
When you are able to successfully overcome your fears, you will open up more opportunities for personal and career growth while also forging more successful relationships.
Taking Slow and Steady Steps
This is highly suggested for individuals who have difficulty coping with the overwhelming feeling of fear that people often experience.
It does not necessarily mean that the fear is so intense as it can be as simple as your fear of being rejected on your request for a date, but it concerns one’s inability to take action due to the presence of fear.
Hence, take one initial, small step instead of aiming for a big one right away. Being able to do that should provide you enough confidence to take succeeding steps.
In order for you to build up courage and make that small step, identifying your fear is essential. Before long, you will realize that your confidence will extend to other areas of your life as well.
Find a Motivation
Overcoming fears often entail a difficult process that requires time. When this happens, people often can easily get demoralized.
One way to keep yourself actively make an effort to combat your fears is by replacing your negative thoughts with ones that motivate.
One way to concretize this step is to list down all the benefits that you can get if you decide to make that change, which is to overcome your fears.
Seeing all these wonderful benefits that you can enjoy should motivate you to get going in your advocacy to eliminate fear in your life.
When people suffer from failure or rejection, it often spirals into more negative thoughts that lead to self-destructive behaviors.
However, all people go through failure at some point in their lives. This is a reality that you need to understand and be aware of.
It is therefore recommended that you change your view about failure and rejection. Instead of letting it demoralize you, use it as a learning process instead where you can pinpoint areas of your life that needs to be improved if success were to be desired.
Facing Your Reality
Most fears are associated with unpleasant experiences in the past or worries about the future. Therefore, one way you can overcome such fears is to focus on the present.
Learn how to make plans and realize them. This is your best bet at succeeding in life and your endeavors, instead of wearing yourself out with worries and fears. If you fail to get yourself out of that situation, you neither fail nor achieve anything.
Redefining Your Perceptions of Fear
One of the most effective ways to overcome fears is to redefine yourself and how you view fear. You need to actively participate in each of these steps in order to effectively progress in your fight against fear.
When you dedicate yourself at these steps, then they will eventually become natural to you. Also, it allows you to see things in a more positive light where fear does not exist.
End Your Fear of Failure
It is dangerous to have your own fears working against you, especially the fear of failure or success. Either can cause you to freeze and create the situation you fear, even causing failure to thrive.
Everyone is going to fall short or experience failure. The important question is not “did you experience failure?” Rather the important question is “how did you react to the failure?”
Coming up short of a desired outcome can be a great teacher. Much of what people have learned, which has been the key to success, has come from overcoming adversity. Mistakes help us discover how not to do a thing. Success is also a great teacher, showing us how to do a thing.
It is important to see success and failure equal in terms of the lessons both bring.
I was being interviewed as an expert for a book on success. The author asked, “Lori Prokop, how do great leaders handle success?”
I replied, “Great leaders are not as devastated by failure or as elated by successes. They take both in stride knowing they will continue to experience both as they move forward. They are more excited by the insights and knowledge they master as a result of both success and failure.”
Great accomplishments can launch from failure. But if you stop because of failure, you will experience that failure forever.
When you experience failure, and you will, step back and in a non-judgmental manner take a good look at it.
I recommend the words of a great mentor of mine,
Ted Nicholas, when he advised me, “Lori Prokop, say these incredibly powerful words, ‘I forgive myself and others for mistakes of the past.’”
I also suggest to you what another great teacher said, “Lori Prokop, you cannot look rationally at the equation or steps which lead to any outcome until you have healed the negative or hurtful emotions attached.”
As you are healing regarding the outcome, ask yourself why this path failed.
When you have forgiven yourself and others for mistakes of the past (even if the past is just moments ago), you can look at the situation wiser, more competent and with the sense that failure is only temporary and success is inevitable.
Different Types of Fears and Overcoming Them
As much as there are several potential triggers to your fear, there are also as many types of fears. However, they can be categorized into three basic fears: external, internal, or subconscious.
Among the three, the subconscious and internal type of fear are most difficult to find treatment to because the person must take the initiative to recognize the source of fear and take necessary steps to overcome it. Recognizing the category in which your fears fit into will help you know how to deal with it.
Among the types of fear, this one is the easiest to diagnose and manage. It is similar to phobias wherein an outside source elicit a degree of internal fear or any manageable level of anxiety.
For example, fear of spiders or fear of heights are among the most common phobias that several people share. A feeling of fear, anxiety or discomfort is experienced by the person with that particular fear when the situation confronts them with those triggers.
Since the source of fear is easier to identify, then one can easily look for alternative ways in which to confront that trigger and overcome fear.
Since external fears are often caused by negative experiences in the past involving those external sources of fears, you can adapt some techniques that will help you understand the reality of the situation.
Hypnosis or some other psychological methods are employed in order to erase any previous negative associations with these objects or creatures that elicit fear.
This type of fear is closely associated with low levels of self esteem or confidence. But like with external fear, the triggers are coming from an outside source and yet it produces a negative emotion.
This trigger will then produce internal reactions or fears such as self doubt or questioning one’s capability to do something.
Most often, when people begin to question their own abilities, failure is inevitable. This type of fear often impacts one’s ability to interact with the social environment.
If you want to conquer internal types of fear, you often have to go back at your childhood years wherein character development is at its peak.
This is the stage in people’s lives wherein they build characters and develop fears. Some people seek professional help that enables them to adapt a new perspective in life and change any behaviors that produce such insecurities and fears.
This type of fear is produced by accepted beliefs in your mind that serve to limit your potentials and worse, could end up in self sabotage.
This one is somewhat associated with the internal type of fear wherein you have the tendency to question your capacity to achieve something.
Thus, the tendency for self doubt and negative self talk. This one requires you to take active steps towards reversing those beliefs and enable you to maximize your potential.
Goals to Overcome Your Fears
One of the many reasons why people neglect the need to overcome their fears is the lack of motivation. Therefore, setting goals will help increase the desire to manage and overcome your fears.
Aside from that, this will enable you to take careful methods toward your goal and provide a sense of direction.
One benefit you can get from it is that aside from getting rid of your fears, it offers more focused direction in your everyday living as opposed to not having a clear idea of what you want to do in life.
Setting goals as motivation to overcoming your fears will also enable you to have a bigger grasp at the need to fight your fears as an opportunity to grow and delimit yourself.
Overcoming Performance Fears and Anxiety
What is Performance Fear?
Performance fear or performance anxiety takes on different forms. However, it is associated with the growing awareness and the need to perform according to the standard of your own field of activity, whether in the workplace, or an upcoming presentation, or for a sports activity.
With the pressure to perform one’s best, there is always this preconditioned mindset for the person suffering from performance fear that anything could go wrong that will eventually impact your performance and reduce it to failure.
Studies are still ongoing to determine exactly the cause of this fear but it is closely tied up to one’s desire to do better at something.
However, you need to understand that experiencing performance fear is completely normal. But some often have unrealistic fear or misconception about given situations that impair their logical decision making capacities and end up in your not performing up to standard.
Different Types of Performance Anxiety
There are various types of performance fears or anxiety, whether at the workplace, sex, speech delivery, or sports. Therefore, the ways in which you deal with them must differ as well.
Below are some basic methods suggested in order to minimize the level of fear associated with performing these different tasks and the level of anxiety that is entailed.
The best way to get rid of any performance fears associated when competing at a sports event is to take it easy on yourself.
Even the world’s best sportsmen or women have their days off, wherein they do not perform at their maximum potential. When engaged in sports, you cannot expect to win all the time and you will find your team lose on some occasions.
Whatever your sport, setting realistic goals is then the first step that will help you deal with sports performance fears and anxiety.
However, you can turn that adrenaline produced by your anxious feelings into energy that you can harness to perform better at your sport. And when you are on the actual performance, try to enjoy the experience and you will find the process of competition more rewarding.
Several people have this fear of speaking in public. Much of that fear is produced by the pressure of having to deliver a flawless speech that is able to communicate the message to the audience effectively.
Instead of letting that fear overtake you, harness it into a systematic plan that will ensure you have control over the situation.
Here are added tips you can apply:
• Carefully plan ahead your speech.
• Do some research to be well-equipped about the topic you are going to deliver a speech on, even when you are already an ‘expert’ at that field.
• Practice. Practice. Practice.
• Plan ahead the schedule and venue where the speech is going to be held.
There are a few innately stressful jobs that require high level of standards for their employees to meet. To keep up with performance anxiety, you need to stop and talk about it, with either your boss, co-workers, or family members.
Being in isolation and confronting your fears alone could increase the fear or make the situation worse. It is important to have the support of other people.
Then, change your perspective. There are moments wherein there are job inadequacies but use that as a learning curve.
Aiming for perfectionism is good but you need to realize that it is unachievable. Just try to focus on what you can contribute to the company instead of what you are failing to deliver.
Managing and Overcoming This Fear-Overcoming Fear of Failure
You need to understand that you have power over your fear, especially when it determines how well you perform at something. Then, think of the following steps that must be taken in order for you to overcome these fears:
• Try to identify the source of your problematic perception or anything that could trigger such fears.
• Then, once you have identified the outside source for such levels of anxiety, look into yourself. Determine how you react to it and why you react that way.
• Refrain from criticizing yourself nor questioning your ability to perform.
• Instead of letting fear consume you, make the necessary preparations needed for your performance, whether at a sports event or at the workplace.
• Once you are through with the performance, do not focus on areas of mistakes or failures in a way that it impairs your self-confidence. Instead, look at them as areas that need improvement in order for you to do better in your next performance.
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