The Ghost Of Fear
To understand the ghost of fear, let me tell you a short parable:
Once upon a time, Jake and Fear were friends. Fear was Jake’s constant companion, and Fear helped him a lot. Fear saved him from lots of troubles and dangers, and helped him choose right paths and ways in his life.
Whenever Jake would carelessly go with the wrong company of “friends” or make a very careless decision, Fear would butt in and remind him of his father’s counsels and admonitions.
When walking right in danger’s path, Fear would whisper a word of warning to dissuade him from proceeding.
Fear would also tell him the proper behavior when Jake was in front of the elderly and other people in authority.
Fear would give him the ability to do and say only the respectful and kind words to people. Fear would also tell him to be polite and humble when
there was a conflict with people he was related with. In short, Fear has been helping him to keep out of troubles and dangers. Fear was really a friend. Jake liked Fear’s company.
Then one day, Jake met Doubt. Doubt seemed very concerned and sincere about Jake. Doubt said his closeness to Fear was remarkable — but alarming.
Doubt threw lies about Fear, distorting the truth that Jake knew about Fear. Worse, Doubt said Fear was actually taking him to a perilous direction, with Jake being unaware.
Jake asked Fear about the things Doubt told him. They had some discussions that somehow went a bit sour. They parted ways with some misunderstandings.
Then one day, Jake heard that Fear had suddenly died.
Doubt lost no time in scaring Jake about Fear. Doubt said that Fear’s premature death and his unsettled “dispute” with Jake might cause Fear to come back from the dead.
Thus, the ghost of fear started to haunt Jake. He would remember the times when Fear accompanied him and warned him of bad things. But this time, he feared the voice of Fear.
The more Jake listened to Doubt, the worse he became afraid of Fear. Fear seemed to be no longer a friend, but a spooky entity that sought his destruction.
End of the parable.
The best way to “exorcize” or get rid of these “ghosts” of fear is to make fear somehow a friend again. You can use your fear to help you if you face the truth about it.
Your negative imagination creates your ghosts. A crazy imagination is good if you use it to create a “friendly” ghost. This is what I recommend.
The book of Proverbs states: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.”
Fear, Focus, and Then Some
Change is inevitable. Change is Life. Change is Good. These are the things that come to mind when I hear the word change.
Even as I sit here on this beautiful, slightly overcast morning listening to the birds chirping and sipping my coffee, I know that today will be different than every day before this and every day after this.
I especially know that what I choose to do today will affect everyday that comes after this day.
My thoughts, words and actions, like a stone thrown into a pond, will create ripples in this world for years to come. So, what do I choose to do this day?
And perhaps more important, what do I choose to change this day?
There is a saying that goes “If you keep on doing the things you’ve always done, you’ll keep on getting the things you’ve always got”.
We all know this to be true, and yet sometimes we just can’t seem to make the change we know is necessary to get to the outcome we desire.
Why is this? Why do we get “stuck”?
It all comes down to a matter of Focus.
Let’s say we desire to have a better relationship with a specific person in our life – our partner, our boss, a child, a friend. We decide we would like more openness, a greater level of intimacy, more fun and more time together.
In order for these new, enhanced, different feelings to exist, we must DO something different. We must CHANGE. We must either change what we do, what we say, or how we respond. And first – we must change our Focus. Where does our Focus come from? Our Focus comes from our thoughts.
Nothing in this world happens and no feelings exist without first being a thought in someone’s mind. The Golden Gate Bridge was first created in someone’s mind. There is no other place for it to begin.
Our thoughts lead to our actions, and our actions create the circumstances of our lives. Therefore, if we desire a positive, loving, fun, joyous relationship with someone, perhaps we have to risk being viewed as silly, crazy, weak and perhaps even vulnerable.
Thoughts race through our minds. What if they don’t like me? What if I screw it up? What if the relationship gets worse instead of better?
These questions provoke thoughts of fear. They frighten us and immobilize us. They cause agita and grief. They keep us from taking action, and they keep us from what we desire.
The key to change without fear is focus.
It is asking empowering, positive questions. It is keeping your goal, the desired outcome at the front of your thoughts at all times without fail.
It is never losing sight of your dreams. It is being vigilant. It is in expecting change, instigating change, and in fact, learning to love change that allows us to grow toward and become that which we desire.
To change without fear, we must recognize that fear is a thought that focuses on something that hasn’t happened yet and something that may never happen at all. Fear isn’t real. Fear is in our minds. Fear is a thought that we can control.
To change without fear we must control our thoughts and our focus. We must release fear. In doing this, we can change and grow with ease.
Change is inevitable. Change is Life. Change is Good.
Now, that’s Powerful!
Greed And Fear
Greed and fear are the major players in the stock market. These two emotions are the
driving force behind almost all market participants – Institutional mangers, stockbrokers,
Investors, traders and yourself.
You might be saying to yourself that greed and fear will never get in the way of my trading,
but believe it or not they will be.
It is not something to be ashamed of. It is something you
have to admit to, come face to face with, If you are to become a successful stock trader or
What do greed and fear look like in the stock market trading arena?
You have been watching a particular stock for some time now. It has set up perfectly, so you pull the trigger. You bought it at the perfect price and now it is moving higher just as you thought it would.
Now greed steps up to the plate and says to you, this is going to be a rocket ship. So you buy some more shares.
Or your stock moves a few points and goes passed the price that you decided to get out. Greed tells you this baby is going higher tomorrow so you hang on.
When stocks make strong moves to the upside greed from all the cumulative market participants joins the move.
Stock prices usually fall faster then they go up, and when this happens, fear now steps up to the plate.
Lets look at the example above, where your stock went through your get out price and you held on because greed was by your side.
The next morning the stock price gaps down. Their is heavy selling all morning long. Greed is telling you to hang in there the price will come back.
The price keeps going down, now you get a knot in your gut, and your knuckles are turning white. Fear is now by your side, but by now it is to late, your nice profit has turned into a loss.
Everyone goes through this until they have mastered the ugly faces of greed and fear. Master this and you are well on your way to becoming a successful stock trader.
Learning How To Overcome Your Obsessive And Fearful Thoughts
It can be tough for people with OCD to have to experience obsessive thoughts that are intrusive, scary, and difficult to manage.
As a result, here is a short list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their obsessive and fearful thoughts.
The first thing a person must do is not to dwell or focus on the fear provoking thought when it comes.
The more a person tries to reason out the thought or focus on the fear behind the thought, the stronger the thought becomes. The next time you encounter an obsessive thought, get into the practice of not dwelling on it.
From my interviews with various professionals, I’ve learned that usually it is the fear behind the thoughts that gets us worked up.
Ignore the fear behind these obsessive thoughts, regardless how the strong the fear may be. If you ignore the fear behind these thoughts, then the thoughts become easier to manage.
A person should visualize a red stop sign in their mind when they encounter a fear provoking thought. When the negative thought comes,
a person should think of a red stop sign that serves as a reminder to stop focusing on that thought and to think of something else. A person can then try to think of something positive to replace the negative thought.
Sometimes, a person may encounter a lot of scary thoughts coming at them all at once. Instead of getting upset, remember that these thoughts are exaggerated and are not based on reality.
Even if your fearful thoughts tell you otherwise, the fact is that there are circumstances and factors in every situation that can not be anticipated.
We may be ninety-nine percent in predicting the future but all it takes is for that one percent to make the biggest difference.
Although I am a Layman and not a professional, I have interviewed many counselors and I learned that there are many ways to deal with these kinds of thoughts.
There are ways to deal with your obsessive thoughts and with the proper treatment, you can live a productive life.
Finding Those Techniques That Manage Your Fears And Anxieties
Are you having trouble finding effective ways to overcome your fears and anxieties? As an author of a managing fear book, I found it difficult to find all of the answers in managing my anxieties.
Although I am a layman and not a professional, I realized that the best way to overcome my fears and is to find those coping skills that effectively mange the fear and anxiety.
The first step is to take advantage of the help that is available around you. If possible, talk to a professional who can help you manage your fears and anxieties.
They will be able to provide you with additional advice and insights on how to deal with your current problem.
By talking to a professional, a person will be helping themselves in the long run because they will become better able to deal with their problems in the future.
It doesn’t stop there. The next step is to apply what you have learned. In my particular case, I made it a point that every time I would experience a fearful or anxiety-related situation, I would use the information I have learned.
In every anxiety related situation I experienced, I began to learn what worked, what didn’t work, and what I needed to improve on in managing my fears and anxieties.
If I still had trouble managing my fear, I would continue to do more research to learn of even more effective techniques in managing fear and anxiety.
I would talk to more professionals, read more books, and ask more questions. I did this for fifteen years and gained a lot of valuable information on how to manage fear and anxiety.
Remember to focus on the strategies and techniques that actually reduce the fear and anxiety. All it takes is one effective technique to make a world of difference in managing your fears.
The main point of this article is that no matter how difficult it is to manage your fear, the answers are out there if you look hard enough. It might take some hard work and persistence, but it is possible to find those techniques that work for you.
Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
Just like the successful self-help book written by Susan Jeffers, feeling the fear and doing it anyway is one of the secrets to achieving success in business. In fact, it is one of the key secrets to succeeding in almost anything you ever want to do in Life.
In case you weren’t aware of it, you a salesperson. Before you deny this fact till you are blue in the face, let me explain.
You are a salesperson if you:
* Promote your own business to others
* Promote the business you work for to others
* Promote yourself to others
Everybody, at any point in time, fits into one of these categories. You are either drumming up sales for your business or one you work for through direct sales or convincing others that the company you work for is a good company.
Or you are convincing others about a point of view you might have toward a subject. So, everyday we are all trying to persuade another human in one area of our lives or another.
What does this have to do with fear?
Let’s take the act of persuading somebody to make a purchase from you or your company. This can also include trying to get them to agree to a meeting where you have the opportunity to show a new product to them.
For the experts – those of us that do this everyday – this may seem like a walk in the park. But for the rest of us, this can be very intimidating, especially if you are new to the job.
So how do you cope with these feelings? To put it simply, feel the fear, and do it anyway.
It is important to acknowledge the Fear as being real. It is unwise to try and pretend that the feelings are not there, because they are.
You know it when your stomach does back flips or your palms start sweating. Instead of trying to convince yourself that those feelings don’t exist, accept that you are having them, and this is the reason why.
*** The moment you face Fear head on, you destroy the power it has over you ***
Your first step in this process is to acknowledge your feelings as being real, BUT not having control over you.
Often our brain’s tendency to fabricate what the other person (client, prospect, friend, etc) will say or do when you present your ideas to them comes next.
Will they reject you and slam the door in your face, or slam the phone down in your ear? Will they think that you are wasting their time, and that they wished you had never contacted them?
Truthfully, you might get some people who may think that way, but the reality is, most people are so concerned about what is happening to them and how people think about them, that thoughts about what they will say to you don’t enter their minds.
So, instead of giving your brain time to imagine and dwell on these fantasies, raising the level of fear in your mind even more, get moving. And here is the second secret to feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
*** Action destroys the energy of fear, and motivates you into a definite outcome ***
You may have heard the acronym for Fear? FEAR = False Events Appearing Real. The first time I heard that I was listening to a CD by Anthony Robbins. False events = fantasies, or your imagination.
By stepping up and taking action, everything you do begins to destroy these false images, as your actual reality is vastly different to your imagined one.
You will find that your offer to help that company, provide them a new product, or to help show your friends a better way of completing a task, will be received with an open mind.
Now this does not guarantee the result you want, but it will guarantee a result. They will either accept your offer, want more information, or decline it.
Let’s look at these results for a second.
* If they accept, then you have achieved your outcome.
* If they want more information, then you can still achieve your outcome.
* If they decline, then you can move on to the next person to achieve your outcome.
99% of the time they will be respectful and courteous to you, even if they really don’t want to hear what you have to say.
Not mater what the results though, the imagined events in your head (the Fear), is always ten times worse than the actual events. Now that can be guaranteed.
So next time you start getting nervous about anything you want to ask of someone, be it a sale, a favor or a date, remember this – destroy the fear by taking action. Acknowledge your feelings and decide to change them, not ignore them.
One more thing – the people you are talking to have exactly the same fears, and when you truly understand that, then you will know that your actions will help to eradicate their False Events too!
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